The Fear of Failure vs. The Fear of Regret

“The Fear of Failure vs. The Fear of Regret”

 “The fear of failure weighs in kilograms, but the fear of regret weighs in tons.”

🧠 Understanding Fear

What is fear?

Fear is the brain’s natural response to something it perceives as dangerous, unfamiliar, or unknown.

Broadly, there are two types of fear:

1. Actual Fear
2. Perceived Fear

⚔️ Actual Fear

This is the kind of fear that keeps you alive.
It’s real, immediate, and tangible, like being in a war zone, facing a predator, or being in an accident. These are survival-based fears triggered by genuine threats.

💭 Perceived Fear

This kind of fear exists only in your imagination situations that haven’t happened yet but feel so vivid that your brain treats them as real.

Your mind can create a scene so detailed that your body reacts as though it’s truly happening.

🧩 The Science of Fear

Whenever you sense fear, the amygdala the emotional center of the brain detects potential threats from sensory input and triggers the body’s fight, flight, or freeze response.

Once the amygdala signals danger, the hypothalamus steps in, activating the sympathetic nervous system. This sends a message to the adrenal glands to release adrenaline and cortisol, the hormones that prepare your body for action.

Meanwhile, the hippocampus, where memories are stored, compares the current situation with past experiences, giving the fear context and helping you distinguish between real and imagined danger.

Normally, the prefrontal cortex (PFC) the thinking and reasoning part of your brain keeps emotions balanced and calms you down.
But during these fearful situations psychologists call an amygdala hijack, the emotional brain temporarily overrides rational control. Your actions are then driven by emotion, not logic which is why people under fear or stress often react impulsively.

🔦 The Fear That Haunts Us Most

That’s the neuroscience. But the fear we’re exploring today isn’t caused by immediate danger it’s the invisible one that quietly shapes our lives:

• The fear of failure
• The fear of shame
• The fear of missing out
• The fear of regret

And the greatest battle among them is between failure and regret.

⚖️ Failure vs. Regret

Which Is Heavier?

A mentor once told me:

“The fear of failure weighs in kilograms, but the fear of regret weighs in tons.”

It’s true. Both fears are heavy but one hurts your ego, the other damages your soul.

I’ve failed more times than I can count. But the only failures that truly pain me are the ones I quit on.

The rest the ones I kept fighting through became the building blocks of confidence, resilience, and strength.

🏇 The Lesson from Africa

When I lived in Africa, I had the opportunity to learn horse riding and swimming.

I started both but gave up horse riding early on. It’s been years, yet I still regret not learning it. That unfulfilled attempt still lingers.

But swimming? I persisted and eventually learned. It gave me a powerful boost of confidence.

You see, the pain of failure fades with time.
But the pain of quitting becomes regret, and regret stays.

⏳ The Weight of Regret

You won’t remember every failure you endured but you’ll never forget the dreams you abandoned.

Those become regrets.
They revisit you in silence whispering what could have been.

Even if you never succeed, the act of trying saves you from regret.
It’s better to fail with effort than to quit with excuses.

💡 Living Beyond Regret

Regret is part of life, but it doesn’t have to define you.
You can choose to let it teach you or trap you.

It’s not easy to let go, but it’s possible. Many have done it. I’ve done it. You can too.

One of the most powerful ways to dissolve regret is to keep learning.
When you continuously grow and add new experiences, you bury old regrets under new achievements.
Every skill you build and every lesson you learn adds a layer of fulfillment that lightens the past.

✨ Reflection

• Which regret still whispers to you today?
• What small step could you take this week to silence it?
• What have you quit that still deserves another try?

📘 Summary

• Fear has two faces: real and imagined.
• The amygdala hijack drives emotion; awareness restores reason.
• Failure hurts temporarily regret lasts a lifetime.
• Growth and learning are the antidotes to regret.

💭 CTA Your Next Step

Don’t let the weight of what if crush the chance of what could be.
Take one unfinished dream and revisit it.
Fail if you must but never regret not trying.

RiseAbove with Courage.